Chaszaonar

Alright...

Something quick (the next journal entry will be more in depth):

After 3 more commissions I'm putting down the ink, pencil, oil pastel, and markers for a very, very long while.

I'm more into music now so there will be a lot of music related artwork.

Ballista isn't going to come out anytime soon as right now it's still a bunch of freakin notes...

And life is getting better...

I'll post the details next year as to what's really changed and what will remain.

Oh...and expect A LOT of my artwork to be in storage and not viewable...

Another rennovation time...

One of the awkward things about being creative...*sigh*

Too much to explain...I'll be back soon.

First I want to say I'm thinking big, no matter how limited my resources are.
If I don't think big for this graphic novel, I'll fail. With humbleness and humility no doubt but on top of that I will be truthfully, completely, utterly miserable.

I wrote this down in the middle of the night while writing the outline to Ballista and thought to myself of the progress I've made on my graphic novel and to some of the people who are (thankfully) waiting patiently for it (among other things >.>)

I had a big reflection about the amount of time it really does take to do something great. Sometimes of course great things happen at the instant it's mentioned, others take an eternity.

I think for what I'm doing with Ballista I'm glad that I'm taking the time to get it done right.

For the love that I have of this project I think it's a great thing to have about 50% be the research, 30% is the production of it (and the love to do it), 10% is having the gall to dare make it larger than legends and 10% is the final product.

Well enjoy reading it if you've gotten this far:

Things take time…

A lot of time I don't have and yet I do have. But with all of this time (time is a luxury in this era of the game after all) one of the main art projects I have been working on is the research, written and drawing development of Ballista.

With the help from many people ( [the co-author], [support. Believe it buddy], and [for visual inspiration] for starters and on dA alone) voluntary and involuntary; knowingly and unknowingly, Ballista has been the drive of my entire artistic existence since 2008. Even if I have been sporadic and skeptical about my skills of making the graphic novel, there has been progress through the years and I have the paper to prove it.

I've been writing down a lot more than drawing (I know), from every single piece of machinery and how they work, to the insides of my characters and how they will function in a universe that does not care for their every second of existence to the systems that do not particularly understand their type of person or personality. I've jotted down entire volumes, story synopses, chapter summaries, arc synopses (down to each event) introductions (probably a "million" times by now), back stories and my favorite: character profiles countless times until they are reasonable and connective to every major aspect of the story. Hell, I've even written down things that don't make sense in real science that works perfectly in my graphic novel! With that being said (writing things that don't make sense in real science for starters) I came to many roadblocks, art blocks, life blocks, and even musical blocks (music is kind of a major cog in the entire engine of Ballista). I had to sit back and take a good look at all of the notes and research I've done. Four years later and it's still not enough.

Things. Take. Time…

So I had to go back to libraries, the internet, and even get lucky chances to talk to individuals about certain aspects that will be in my graphic novel such as science, technology, sociology, politics, and even the aesthetics of the designs I have conceptualised in the written notes I have. I've also questioned legendary pop-culture stories and the genres within that I love to dive into just to get a different and better understand of how to write and draw Ballista. All of those resources gave me a better insight on how the story moves from beginning to end, where all the pulpy bits go and where some character to universal big twists are going to be and how they are expressed to grab the reader from their seats and pillage their minds! =-O Which is why I'm not just writing the story, then drawing it, then having it edited for plot voids and what not. Next would be making the manuscript or having a finalised draft of it, then finally publishing it by a company only to see it bomb completely because the entire comic lacked the one thing that has been keeping me awake for 12 to 16 hours of the day (both in my head and on paper): the research.

Believe it or not, I think about Ballista a lot more than I show it or speak it. I portray each character sometimes to know how each of them will react to the situations I place them in, both in heated action-packed battles and in dramatic interpersonal development. Through the time I do give myself breaks I think about what each environment looks like, getting inspirations from movies, games, anime, TV shows and other great books that I've read. All of that time (believe it or not) is focused on how to make the Ballista universe better in every way. I even have entire "soundtrack" to a graphic novel (weird I know) that I listen to everyday to get into the feeling of the chapter I'm working on, or the character I'm developing, etc, etc.

The Ballista universe isn't just a city, or a nation, a planet, solar system, or even an entire galaxy. Since 2009, I've always wanted my characters to span across several galaxies, visit planets outside their realm of expertise (as well as have the technology to do it of course), and to save a universe! In many ways and in many stories there are those who have saved an entire universe and didn't know it (if and when it applies of course). In the process, probably having the other sentient races feel strange and say "WTF? I feel happier/better…*ponder*" But I really want Ballista to be about that: saving a universe. I want 4 to 8 characters saving hundreds of trillions upon quintillionsof humanoids and other sentient beings from total destruction. I want to have the characters not to just have the aspect of heroes, but villains as well. I want a conspiracy to unfold into another conspiracy and another until the large picture isn't even in plain sight, but within the messages and morals that graphic novel gives! I want the conspiracy to affect the entire fucking universe. Yea sure, it might be a simple cliché conspiracy, but I want it to hit so hard it knocks me out of my art hole and into Chuck Norris's fist (Sorry I had to…) and back to my fucking seat missing half of my soul (ok, ok…more than half, but still…)!

Things. Take. Time…

I believe that's what makes a really great story, whether fictional or non-fictional. The research that needs to be done can really change the way the story is to be written. I'm not saying it all has to be from facts or stuff that's already been done. Some bits of Ballista are from my personal life that I have to account for. Some are just bits of fantasy I compiled together, and even then I have to find out where does my liking of that particular fantasy come from; what stories were these fantasies involved in first, and the big question behind that is: How can I can I make that fantasy exciting for the reader in a different way than what's already been done?
In total I have probably about (at least) 5 to 25Mb of [relevant] research. Whether it's handwritten or typed out, by me or someone else, that's a ton load of data when it just comes to words. I think by the time I get to actually draw the comic --which I hope won't be too far into the future-- I'll have at least a CD-R worth of raw words worth of researched info about various stuff that Ballista will share to you all.

I don't want to be sappy and say I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting, but I'll say it like this: "Please, just wait a bit longer because in the end of this researching/conceptual madness that I've brought to myself will be a graphic novel that I hope you all will enjoy as much as I have enjoyed making it." I hope that you get knocked out of your art holes and into Chuck Norris's fist (once again…I had to) and back into your fucking seats missing half of your soul (or more)… and be completely entertained to read it over and over.

So keep waiting because

Things (especially great). Take. Time…

戦球護チャズ

So I'm here to tell you that I'm working on a lot of art...at once sometimes. But there's more to it now.

Life seems to draw it's way into what I need to do beyond the basic necessities.

I have to renew my ID and also get a Vet's Card...I guess for the benes but mainly I just need my ID. I can't even get a cheap bottle of wine anymore at the stores I go to because some actually SWIPE my card...greeeat.... =\.

I'll be gone for a while longer and I hope to post up something (probably digital and about Ballista for the time being) but nothing for or...sorry guys

To the deviants that I have been friends and watchers, I've changed how much deviations will now be received in my mail box. I know the ramifications of a nasty number of deviations that will come in every time I can check it. That's ok. It's my showing of love for you all and the art you create.

Just a heads up

戦球護チャズ